I like to turn up the Bluetooth speaker and pretend I’m Stan Rogers performing in a smokey bar, using my showerbeer as a microphone.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=OpKqdh1WmGY

Holy shit, that guy is so cool, changing my PfP, brb

Lil’ bit of ragebait has always been part of shitposting, but usually it’s at least funny ragebait

Very true! Please, enjoy the safe-edgey HR approved joke below, specially curated to not be a bannably controversial!

Well, they do drink no matter what, but they dont need much!

Mibkeys need like a shot of whisky to get hammered you stingy bastard! I’d call you a caveman but they at least would throw a dog a bone

Have you SEEN the price of whisky these days? The cost of getting that little fucker drunk and lightfingered is negligible, even if he smokes like a chimney

Man, Europe sounds miserable these days!

When I worked at the gas station, I never charged for gas. I’d let them put their card in, say “Nah man, gas is free today”, and then steal their bank information. I stole over 1,000,000,000,000 from dumb fucking rubes using this simple little trick :)

I think that, and Mr. Pocket were my two favorite parts

Source: Pete Kegseth keeps drunktexting reporters when he’s schlammered

“This too shall pass”, even for emperors of the world.

I go for the quad myself; Phone, Wallet, Keys, and a Can-Do Attitude!

Boo. Dad band and dad joke all in one, for shame!

Goes outside

Ah shit, no way!

Alas, you left them in all day too, so…