AeronMelon

Put salt in the water before boiling.

Like, a teaspoon’s worth.

They promoted him to assistant manager.

They were with me the whole night.

Did they start counting Steam Decks?

Almost assuredly a Portuguese language option in the European release.

I believe there was a toggle switch on set controls (no remote).

I’m this old.

“Weird, the car is still running. I don’t understand how CyberTrucks die while still on the beach.”

And?

Lease your phone so that you have enough money to finance a pizza.

“YOU OWN NOTHING!!”

Me: tell a girl I’ve been living alone for years

“Wow, you know how to cook?”

“Wow, you do all your own laundry?”

“Wow you clean house regularly?”

Me: “Did you miss the part where I said I lived alone for years??”

This machine would make money every single day if you placed it somewhere public.

Some people would try to over-volt it to commit suicide (or because they thought it would be kinky).

They couldn’t afford a raise, it was a pizza party.

That thumbnail looks like those routers are making helicopter motions with their antennas to entertain a child.

Nacho Libre.

One more for the “sorry they got caught” category.

Yes he did. Guess what comes out of the shower heads.

Growing up, I saw kids in wheelchairs in special areas of a pool that’s just deep enough for their heads to be above water while sitting in a waterproof wheelchair and I was lowkey jealous.

Cancer is stored in the butt.