https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0QOya9-lwQk (alternative: Nadeko instance or Invidious selector)

I heard they had to cancel all their rap classes.

Yes. Don’t ask about the 90° bend before the tip, it’s a long story that I haven’t made up yet.

They know enough to bring the dick splints and extra gloves.

I use getting attacked for self-defense so now that’s illegal too.

And then you’ve gotta decide whether to make an appointment with your doctor or the mortician.

Raise the periscope while still near the surface and hope that a friendly ship spots the feather first.

It’s okay, I’ve got 911 on speed dial. They know what to expect when they see me on the caller ID.

Wish I’d known this one back in grade school.

Our supply levels are fine but jail anyone who says they’re not because that’s a secret and we can’t let everyone know. Got it.

Masturbator of puppets.

Hacksaw Hero takes down another post!

Great, you’re back. How many bans will it take before you leave?

Sampling and Raman analysis are tasks I’ve been trained for, maybe I’ll take a look at these stores.

Fat-cats out there with their pot lids and I’m just happy mine has a handle.

Fuckin’ robonarc.

No training budget, gotta get by somehow.

Depends on the gulag.

Maybe the speaker should have had something more interesting to say, did they ever think about that?

Article?