This reminds me of one night where a group of friends went out drinking. Just before we were going to leave the pub to go to one further down the road one friend said he needed to take a piss. It triggered something in a bunch of us as most of us realised we needed to go.
The toilets were really busy; that situation where you’re pissing in what is basically a trough with your elbows touching the elbows of other guys next to you. Immediately on trying to go it just wasn’t happening. I stood awkwardly for about a minute, zipped up, washed my hands and went outside.
Everyone gathered round and we started walking. We were walking in silence for about a minute when one guy said “Did anyone else manage to actually pee?” To which loads of us burst out laughing. Turns out we all did the same thing, even though we needed to pee, we all failed to do so.
That’s a real group of bros
More like a group of betas!
Pro tip: If you have a shy bladder, you can just go into a stall to pee.
The walk of shame to the stall after standing silently surrounded by confident urinators for 3 minutes
Just announce that you were mistaken and you also have to shit, that should dispel any awkwardness.
Like other people give a piss.
Women/girls also frequently suffer from a shy bladder even though stalls are the norm.
It’s almost like humans have a biological expectation of privacy when peeing that modern American construction fails to meet.
I used to have this problem, but I somehow got over it by imagining to piss in the face of the queen of England. Something about unloading in her face while she’s sitting there all prissy like makes me laugh which relaxes my muscles enough to piss.
Pissing with shy bladder protip: Do some multiplication tables in your head. What’s 7x6? 8x6? 4x12?
Takes up enough concentration that it easily starts to flow. Made this trick up years back and it has never failed me.
I just stand there and go pee.
Here’s some advice I received years ago for this very situation: if you’re struggling to piss due to stage fright, imagine pissing on the head of someone you hate. Really imagine it. Imagine micturating all over their hair (or their scalp), the aghast expression, then them spluttering while trying to mouth ‘What the fuck?’ it does work. I don’t know why it works - and I most definitely don’t want to know - but it does work.
You’re all most welcome :)
Now I’m erect and peeing is even harder?
This is one of the reasons why I don’t understand how other men use urinals. Like how do you manage the absolute lack of privacy?? And I’m not even talking about hygiene (you don’t use toilet paper when using a urinal)
Everybody shows up to do something specific and keeps their eyes on the road. Unless you drop your pants to your ankles or you’re packing SERIOUS heat there’s nothing to see anyway unless you’re way out of your lane.
I find it MUCH weirder to take a dump in a “guest bathroom” that is a half bath with no fan or background noise and is next to the room where people are.
Also… unless it’s your first time with a wang, I am perplexed by why you would need toilet paper. Presuming you wash your body regularly and you wash your hands when you’re done it’s not like you’re dipping your fingers in the stream or putting it away wet.
The wang does remain wet no matter how much you shake it. And that’s pretty uncomfortable to me even though I do wash regularly. It’s like not washing your hands after eating greasy chicken. Yes, you will eventually wash it off some time later but going around with dirty hands all day long is just unpleasant.
I guess I don’t follow. Are you saying that you give it a good jostle and it’s wet all day? Or are you literally talking about your hands?
As for me, I don’t have that sort of feeling personally. That doesn’t invalidate what you’ve got going on of course.
I mean it becomes dirty after the leftover urine dries up. I’m sure for some people it’s okay, but I really dislike it.
It’s just kinda funny we make men piss in troughs cock out side by side while women have always been given the dignity of a door. We really did just go “idk you guys are animals figure it out piss in this hole next to that other pissing guy”
Which is why I always stan a properly built gender neutral bathroom with floor to ceiling doors for everyone. Bliss. Pee in privacy, my toilet is my kingdom.
Urinals are so weird. I only use them if there is no free or reasonable clean stall. Sitting down to pee is in every way superior.
Why not raise the seat and pee while standing? It’s a little bit trickier since you have to have a good aim, but it’s as quick as with urinals but you get the privacy
I’ll do that if the seat is visibly nasty in public restrooms. But generally, maneuvers like this are what makes public restrooms nasty in the first place. So I try to avoid that, even with the seat up.
Sitting down to do it isn’t quite as fast since you’re dropping drawers, and the seat can be a catastrophe that you’d rather not touch on occasion. Nonetheless we should pee as like.
I’m arguably a real man’s man with typical man likes and man opinions but I won’t for the life of me understand this macho stigma against pissing sitting down.
You have no toilet paper at urinals so you put your member back into your underwear with more residual piss on it than you would’ve otherwise, and splashback of piss particulates back onto your pants is also a thing.
Especially when you drain the lizard in or at something that’s not one of those round specifically purpose built porcelain urinals. Like those unials that are just a big metal plate, a normal toilet, or a wall or tree.
