Currently sitting on my toilet trying to be quiet and this damn thing is making my ass sound like a brass only orchestra
It is to teach people to be proud and loud
Yes they’re made of pure trombonium.
factoid: Three modern toilet improvements were invented and patented in the late 1800s by Thomas Crapper, including the floating ballcock.
Own it. I installed an amp and a reverb pedal in my toilet.
Get a delay and a wah, homemade didgeridoo
The thing that makes it echoy is what makes it easier to clean.
I once used a really nice bidet on a vacation to Europe. It wasn’t the cheap ones that are offered in the US that are basically just toilet seat attachments, everything was built in. It was porcelain but the sides were stainless steel. There was no handle to flush the toilet, but when you sat down and let your arms hang by your side you would feel a slight protrusion on the right side that your fingers would naturally press and out popped a remote control that would start the cleaning process. You could select the water temperature, the spraying pattern, the air dry temperature and a couple of other things. There was no toilet paper involved at all and you would be completely clean and dry afterwards. It was also self cleaning, and pretty much soundproof. I started my session with a loud fart and it was barely audible. Oh, and when we first checked into the room there were rose petals in the water in the toilet. So quiet toilets are out there but they cost multiple thousands of dollars. But they’re worth every penny.
US toilets are about as antiquated as our trains. Trapped in the 1950s
What I’ve read is that they tried a couple of times to introduce bidets to US consumers but the majority of them thought they were too weird. I’m going out on a limb here and say this has something to do with the puritanical streak we have in the US and that spraying water on your ass to clean it will somehow lead to something sinful.
Rules to live by:
- Don’t be embarrassed by your body, nor the sounds and smells it makes. We are creatures of matter, not ethereal beings of light
- The toilet is a sacred place where social mores are relaxed. Just don’t talk to other people while you’re relieving yourself or getting your dick sucked
- Seriously, why are you on the phone in the bathroom? I’m trying to read in here!
- Wash your hands
- If you see someone leave a bathroom without washing their hands, and you see that person soon after with a group of people, it is your solemn doody to walk up to their companion, point at them with a fully extended arm, and say slightly louder than socially acceptable “THEY DIDN’T WASH THEIR HANDS”. Walk away with no other comment
- But courtesy flush
- But you’re allowed to communicate to the dick sucker. Communication is very important in sex
- But I’m also using my phone to read
- But use soap too
- But also slap their face before walking away
I did #5 (the embarrassing, not the slapping) to some high school kid in a mall a has been doing some work at. Dude used the original and walked right out. When i came out he was chatting up what looked like a classmate or friend. So I walked by them, close enough to say a quick aside to the girl, and walked on. Pointed directly at him and said “he didn’t wash his hands” and left to the sound of her laughing at him. Or me. Dunno. He wasn’t laughing tho
(I’m a middle-aged construction worker with a wedding ring and resting tired bastard face)
Because porcelain, in the shape of a bowl, is incredibly good at staying relatively clean and being easy to clean when it eventually does get dirty. Those are the most important properties you want for something that you literally shit into.
Nah, that’s important for something you eat out of.
Something you shit into can be dirty. It doesn’t need to be clean to accept the next shit.
You don’t eat out of your toilet?
Couldn’t enamled metal work just as well? It’s not like you shit into bare porcelain; it’s enamaled.
Part of me thinks metal would.only transmit sound even better than porcelain.
Yeah, you can buy metal toilets. They have them in prisons and public restrooms, usually. I think people don’t buy them because they don’t like the look. I certainly wouldn’t want a metal toilet.
They said enamled metal, like a non-plastic bathtub. Basically metal with a porcelain coating.
Yeah, I understand. I don’t know if they’re enameled, but you can buy metal toilets.
Enamel can get chipped and scratched, and if you don’t clean it regularly it will stain and disintegrate.
Source: rented places with enameled bathtubs and sinks.
You can get them clean again, but I think you basically have to scour them with pumice, which you can probably only do so many times.
Edit: Oh, you’re talking about enamel, I’m talking about porcelain.
They’re the same thing. Enamled in this case means there’s a porcelain coating.
It’s the smoothness of the surface that’s ultimately responsible for the acoustics. That’s why walls are typically textured to some degree.
It also usually self-cleans quite nicely through the flushing mechanism. Hence the noise, since it pushes water down the sides to clean it.
Tell that to the hard water in my town. I’ve tried everything short of a water softener (rental) and basically all it does is delay the rings from one week to about 2 1/2.
I’m surprised the water softener didn’t help more — is there a specific mineral that is extremely present in the water?
That I don’t know, other than we have a large aquifer under the county that serves basically just our county, that has a cap of clay over it. Supposedly we have some of the best tasting water in the country but it is very heavy.
But no, I said I haven’t gotten a water softener, because I live in a rental. But I’ve done the little hangy things, the blue pucks in the reservoir, even this damn device that works like a bidet for the toilet that shoots an amount of cleaner with every flush. Nothing works. A water softener likely would.
Edit: ok so it’s not a large aquifer. It’s actually very small now that I think of it lol
You might be able to get an inline softener for just the toilet. I know they make them for shower heads too.
Really?!? Thanks for the info. I’ll have to look it up. Thanks!
Also, vinegar is great at removing hard water stains, if you haven’t tried it.
(A rusty one?)
The simple answer is, porcelain is fairly durable, nonreactive and, well, smooth. You don’t want a material that’s prone to sticking in any way. The shape needs to be a certain way for the water to do away with… things, and not go everywhere.
That sucks when you have one of the THBPLTPLTBPHLTHLPTHPLTPPL ones in company, though.
It also needs to be cheaply mass producible. So making stuff from literal dirt is a pretty smart idea.
Here you go, a quiet toilet with built in tp holder. And its free.
Midgits be pissed
But if I take a shit in the forest and the bear hears it, do I get to meet the pope?
Thats what the stick is for. Best bet is to hit him in the papal tiara or zucchetto.
Or bring JD Vance with you every time you poop.
No, but you do get to meet Saint Peter.
That’s advanced yoga to reach the toilet paper during business there.
I’d love this if winter wasn’t a thing 😭
Its even quieter in the winter. Fewer mosquitos too.
Fewer testicles too.
Since they are so small and fall right off from the cold. If you don’t rip them off when they are stuck to something.
If done correctly, the boys don’t touch anything. Tested at -25°C. I didn’t have a lemmy account back then so YMMV.
Naw. You just gotta poop quick.
The metal latrine seats are a bad idea in winter, though.
Oh look, a shit post.
Ask my father, he has never triumphed as loud and as long as he ever has on a steel one as he has on a ceramic one. He was a music teacher, so the resonance is important to him.
I’m presuming triumphed is a misspelling of trumped rather than some obscure colloquialism.
It’s a silly pun, don’t think about it too loud.
The hard surface is resonant but also easier to clean.
The shape is out of necessity too, it needs to be big enough to sit on, but flushing also needs to be able to funnel the water to flush properly.
If you can figure out a non resonant material that is suitable for the job, you could be very rich very fast.The material and shape serve the primary function. Reducing noise probably wasn’t a factor while designing it, as it doesn’t really matter.
Idk if I’d say it doesn’t matter as blowing the butt trumpet has been an embarrassing thing for millennia but I get from an engineering standpoint it’s negligible
Everyone farts. If you want to be embarrassed about it, that’s really on you. It’s not a problem that requires a technical solution.
blowing the butt trumpet has been an embarrassing thing for millennia
This is not correct. There is a Martin Luther qoute (around 1500) that goes something like “why don’t you burp or fart? Wasn’t the meal to your liking?” The Romans made the latrine a social gathering. The need for butt trumpet privacy is fairly recent.
I might be wrong but I’m like 80% sure historically people have been killed for farting at inopportune moments
Me and my roommate in Iraq were in our 1st Seargents office getting chewed out when I farted and stopped him from speaking to glare at me. Then my roommate farted and it was baaaaad. He started speaking in tongues for a bit before relearning English and told us both to get the fuck out. That’s probably the closest I’ve come to dying for a fart.
Get one of those NASA space toilets where the suction acts as a muffler.
You already got your answer, so I’m gonna be sarcastic… sorry.
It’s a skill issue, stop playing the brown notes.
