There is no “other” living in your head, it’s all you. Understanding why this is happening to you is understanding you.

All knowledge is self knowledge. If you can understand why this bothers you so much, you can understand how to let it go.

You gotta examine you, self therapy. Or actual therapy if you struggle with honesty.

Never accept criticism from someone you wouldn’t take advice from.

I mean, first of all remember that it is a dumb internet community, and especially the ones like you describe tend to be populated by shut in neckbeards. You, meanwhile, have shit to do that is more important. Go do that shit.

If it is really invasive, then stop thinking about it and start feeling it. That is, don’t try to logic the feeling of how it was unfair, or they are assholes, or you’ve been mistreated. Instead focus on the sensations of the emotion you are feeling. You are feeling angry? How do you know you are feeling angry? A tightness of facial muscles? The hairs standing up on the back of your neck? Thoughts of violence or revenge? Notice the feeling with curiousity for a breath or two, or a minute or two if you still have time, or until the feeling passes and your mind wanders to something else.

I do some repetitive tasks at work that trigger intrusive thoughts. Sometimes they are absurd, sometimes old memories, sometimes an annoying person that I barely know that slight me in big or small ways.

I let the happy one come and go but I try to block the ones that are useless, where you know that you are drinking the poison you should give to the person in your thought instead (don’t poison people though). And just the thought of blocking them make them pop even more often.

So instead I decided to expect and even wait for the bad thoughts to come, and just be like “ah, there you are, thought”. They become less threatening and annoying when you expect them and roll your eyes at them when they effectively do. That worked more or less for me.

I usually do the “piss drinking” thought process. It’s something I read on Reddit a long time ago, in which two users were at each others throats, but then one of them went to check on the posting history of the other and saw that he was a piss drinker.

There are a lot of “special” people in here, so why are you letting a “piss drinker” take that much mental space?

I remind myself that an internet rando means absolutely nothing to me. Like the figurative “dirt on your shoulder” that you just brush off. It really helps to take a break from all things social media (and social media adjacent) on the internet for a while, too. Get interested in something else (tv show, hobby, book, music, whatever) for a while.

I have to consciously remind myself that my parents were and are wrong.

Sometimes I imagine the versions of them that live in my head gagged and bound in cages.

No, dad, it was not a self-fulfilling prophecy that ruined my life, it was child abuse. No, mom, I should not repress my own emotions to please others. I am a human being, not your fucking possession.

They’ll be part of me for as long as I am alive, but sometimes I can shut them up.

I am trying to make something out of the ruins of my life. Not much luck so far. Therapy hasn’t helped yet. I wish people would stop normalizing abuse. The bible belt is a cesspool of stubborn, deadly ignorance.

Miles Edward O’Brien lives rent free in my head. As he should in everyone’s. He’s the most important person in starfleet history.

For more modern and corporal people, I just try to avoid things that make me think about a person, or minimize contact as much as possible. To varying degrees of success… Eventually they’ll fade.

Unlike O’Brien.

Same as land scalpers do to anyone who doesn’t pay rent; kick them out

There is no ideal solution, only whatever works for you.

There are two methods I use.

Ready?

First, If I just want it to go away, I shout every time it, whatever it is, shows up in my thoughts. I distract myself from the thought, and don’t allow it to take root. At first, I might need to do it several times an hour. Over time, though, the need lessens, and eventually I don’t think about it anymore.

But, that’s not the only way. If I think there might be something to learn from the situation, I’ll do the opposite. I dig in and think it through. I explore everything about it as best I can. I extract whatever lesson I can from it, then it feels completed to me. When I’m done with it, I can put it away and forget about it. I become bored with the subject because I’ve studied it from every angle, and often I do this through writing with a pen and paper. The physical act of writing, rather than typing forces me to engage with the subject more completely. This can be a difficult process, but once it’s done, it’s done, I can move on and it won’t bother me again. I know I’m done when I realize I’m writing in circles, I start repeating what I wrote before because I can’t think of anything else to say, or explore. This is how I got through getting fired from one of my early jobs and later how I got through my divorce.

Take responsibility for your actions, thoughts, and feelings. But, leave other peoples’ responsibilities to them. For instance, my wife cheated on me, that was her choice and I left that with her. But, I wasn’t innocent, I could have been a better husband to her, and I had to admit that to myself and learn what I did wrong, and try to understand why I did it. I could have easily believed the failure of OUR relationship was entirely HER fault because she cheated, but that wasn’t true.

I hope you find something that works for you.

Hatred, anger, insomnia, self-loathing, political action, arguing on social media, and profound clinical depression.

Not necessarily good strategies, but that’s not what you asked for.

This one is hard and need a lot of work. It’s easy to said it but hard to do.

Breathe. You have to let go. Build community with what you like